Questions & thoughts like, “what’s wrong with me? I don’t get it. I’m a good person. I’m a good one. I’m a good woman. I’m pure. I’m sweet as I want to be. I got a lot going for myself. I’m independent. I’m educated, intelligent. I’m creative. I’m ambitious. I’m a loyal woman. I’m helpful. I’m respectful. When I fall for a man, I only fall for that man only. Am I not pretty enough? Am I not good enough? Am I too big? Am I too weird? Why haven’t I ever been loved? Why do I always get rejected by men? Why does men I’ve taken interest in never fully wants me? How come they’ve never made me theirs? Why am I always portrayed as just a friend to these men? Nothing more, I’m just a friend they really like or really in love with though they never want to admit it. How come they’ve never committed to me? They always leave me. I should just start taking interest in women…no but I love men. Why do I always get my heart broken? Why am I crying? Why am I so lonely? I’m tired of people always telling me my time for love will come. I’m tired waiting. I just want to be loved. I want to fall in love. I want to be in love. I want a man to make sweet love to me so good, so hard, so right. I want to be penetrated. I want to be touched, kissed, held. I’m tired of always having to force myself to fall out of like or love b/c the man is no longer interested in me. I wonder, will I ever be loved? Will I ever be something, someone special to a man? Will I ever have that real love? Why do I keep asking myself these questions? Why are my thoughts getting the best of me? Damn my loneliness, damn these insecurities of mine. I’m too old to never had a relationship, affection, love. What’s wrong with you? Get yourself together.
